Chrysalis

It's so hard to figure out what the Lord's plans are for us. We never seem to understand untill it's too late. I guess that's why it's been so hard for me to keep the faith. I need proof that the Lord is watching over me. That he knows what he's doing and has a higher plan for me. One that involves me leaving this slum and living happily every after. Cause there has to be something better. After all this suffering. What am I supposed to get out of all this? To learn that I really can't depend on my family? They're the only things I've got. They're always around. The only ones I can actually talk to whenever I need to. But why can't they accept me? Especially my father. I tried so hard to live up to his expectations. Only to have my own dreams shattered in the process. My brother had to sacrifice everything he was just to gain my dad's love and trust. Just because I won't follow in my dad's footsteps, he automatically disaproves of me. And no one else will do anything. Cause they're afraid of him not liking them either. I'm lost. Where do I belong in this world if I can't even depend on my family? I can't make it on my own. And I just can't jump up and get a new family, now can I? The only reason why I take this pain is because after the pain, there is healing.


At least that's what I'm telling myself.

posted by ryryguy @ 7:26 PM