Chrysalis

"Yeah, well you piss me off Ryan! So ha! Ha ha ha ha!!!!!!!"
-crystal bob 5:01 PM ::

Take a chill pill, gurfrien. I was only kidding.

So what had happend was, today in Stone's class, we were working on our outlines for our English thesis. Which the rough draft is due Friday and no one is prepaired. I don't even know what Ms. Stone's motives are and I'm a little scared that she might not know what she's doing and have us all going to summer school to get our deplomas. Well, I'd just be going to summer school. And night school. And maybe even day school again. I'm not sure yet. Maybe if teachers weren't so fucking stupid and understand that I hate homework.
Why, why, WHY did I agree to do this story for Journalism? Now I actually have to do it this time.

Well this is the week. The one year mark of my coming to terms with myself and with my friends. It was after this week that I had to re-evaluate the relationships with people around me. It was when me and Rachael stoped talking. It was how close me and Ashley became. It was how much I wanted to forgive, but didn't have the strength to do so. A year of crying, of healing, and crying somemore. But I made it. I survived. LOL, actually the few things that kept me going were my friends, god, and the surviver cd by Destiny's Child. Although I try not to let the bad things that happen effect me anymore. I try to forget them and only take in the good things. Like with Rachael. I'll always remember how we were the best of friends. How I could call her at any time whenever I felt bad. She was always there. Her birthday is Wednesday. Which was one of the harddest yet the most exciting days of my life. But I'm all past it now. I have new, loving people in my life. Some old friends and some new ones. I have a lot to be proud of in the past year. And no one can take my pride away from me. At least not this time. I believe everything happens for a reason. And this was a sign for me to grow up. Now that I have gotten through the drama, I'm able to live my life. Sure, there are still some downers. But I'm able to deal with them in a new way. And I can thank EVERYONE and EVERYTHING for that. I think it was perfect what Spike said in "Once More With Feeling",

Life's not a song
Life isn't bliss, life is just this
It's living
You'll get along
The pain that you feel
You only can heal
By living
You have to go on living
So one of us is living

I have a lot to be thankful for. But I'm most thankful for me being able to have the chance to live.

posted by ryryguy @ 11:37 PM