Chrysalis: 07/01/2002

So, here's another RO update. <(Dark Prince)> is almost a swordsman. And Luminant Prince, well he's on Loki so you probably won't see him most of the time. *curses the Loki server*

I had the weirdest dream last night. I had a dream that I walked into the office at work and Mario fired me. And all I could do was cry. And everyone felt sorry for me. I woke up crying. I can't believe I cried. I'm such a sissy.

I don't know if I want to believe this... My best friend, for 12 years. She couldn't have herpes. Could she? If this is all a lie, I'll will make sure to put a stop to these vicous rumors. When someone you love has a STD, it's not something you kid about.

So here's another RO update. Now that the Loki server is back up, I'll be playing under Luminant Prince. And they unstuck my Chaos character. So that's cool. This time, I'm going to be a thief.

And I love Casper Van Dien!

*DROOOOOOOL*

I've got to get my hands on some of that berry Pepsi. I must have it! *_*

I downloaded three more music videos last night. Endless Sorrow, Kanariya, and Depend On You. I also downloaded SEASONS a few days ago. I'm obsessed with Ayu. Maybe I should download some english music videos.

I just downloaded Ayu's "Dearest" music video, which also happens to be my favorite songs.
I wish I had my Stitch plushie to cuddle with. But it's at my mom's house. I'll just have to go there today and get him. I lave you Stitch!

I still want a water polo player. *nod*

So I started a new game on RO. Got stuck. Now I'm waiting to get unstuck so I can level up.
There's a team of water polo players in town staying across the street from the theatre. They're really cute. I want my very own water polo player. Eww, just got a image of Mr. Reichert in my head. GET IT OUT, GET IT OUT! >.<

Well thanks to sucksmyballs.nu, I have to use one of Blogger's templates for the time being. Does anyone know where I can get a web host service that will let me host my images onto Blog*Spot? I really need these damn pictures up.
Damn, my brother was in my room today and took my digital camera. I didn't even say he could use it, but here it is. Bastard. >.<

Sorry for not posting in a while. I've been going through some stressful times. I'm really sorry.
Ashley, I hope your move to Fresno goes smoothly. I'm sorry for not calling because I wasn't at home. And by the time I got your number it was too late to call. Forgive me. But we'll talk soon. Maybe when I'm free from all this drama. I'm so glad that you're finally free.

Good Luck.

Dammit, I don't think Envy.nu is gonna let me host these images anymore. I'm going to have to move this blog there or find a new webhost.
YAY! My dad is getting rid of the new dog! The crazy bitch. Now I don't have to pray for her death.

Anyone know where I can get a super cool new guestbook? This one's been down for a while.

Trisha's party was a hoot! I haven't had that much fun in the longest time. Believe me.

Ashley leaves to Fresno next week. Someone has to throw a party. w00t w00t!!

Damn, I still can't find my webcam, or my lilo and stitch keychains or my disney princesses keychain. I hate that room. It is the death trap. *nod*

Guess who finished night school today? I walked in for like an hour and then I finished. So these lyrics go out to all them chicken heads at Alhambra. You know who you is.
The old song was kinda lame, so I changed it to some Kylie *chairdances*

Spinning Around

Kylie Minogue

I'm spinning around
Move out of my way
I know you're feeling me cos you like it like this
I'm breaking it down
I'm not the same
I know you're feeling me cos you like it like this

Trading my sorrow for some joy that I borrowed
From back in the day
Threw away my old clothes
Got myself a better wardrobe
I got something to say

I'm through with the past
Ain't no point in looking back
The future will be
And did I forget to mention that I found a new direction
And it leads back to me

I'm spinning around
Move out of my way
I know you're feeling me cos you like it like this
I'm breaking it down
I'm not the same
I know you're feeling me cos you like it like this

Mistakes that I made giving me the strength
To really believe
And no matter how I take it
There's no way I'm gonna fake it
Cos it's gotta be real

I've got nothing left to hide
No reason left to fight
Cos the truth's given me a new freedom inside
Getting rid of my desire
Do you like what you see?

I'm spinning around
Move out of my way
I know you're feeling me cos you like it like this
I'm breaking it down
I'm not the same
I know you're feeling me cos you like it like this

Ooh baby, baby, baby
You know you like it like this
Ooh baby, baby, baby
You know you like it like this
Ooh baby, baby, baby

I'm spinning around
Move out of my way
I know you're feeling me cos you like it like this
I'm breaking it down
I'm not the same
I know you're feeling me cos you like it like this

YAY! I just talked to Meghan and I got her number back. I'm so happy. Now I have someone to talk to again. :D

Sorry to whoever read the last post. Me being uber pathetic and what not. My cds didn't come. And my parents are pissing me off even more. But I'm better now.

Which 10 Things I Hate About You Character Are You?

"Good call! Most people around here can't tell Prada from Payless!" *roflmao* Sorry, this test needed to be finished with a Cordy line.

My mom took my shoes back today. I got my $51 back. And I have to deposit my paycheck tomorrow. Then I have to go to the bank. If my cds aren't in today, I'm calling yesasia's customer service. *nod*

Bored now...
*skins Warren*
>:D

To sum up today,
Mario ordered nasty pizza. It tasted so horrible.
Kenny swears that I like him. Everytime I touch him, he thinks I'm trying to seduce him. And when I grab his stomach, he insists that I'm trying to go "lower." If I was seducing him, he'd know it already.
Kimm quit. It's good because she dressed like a slut and made us all look bad and she had a huge open crush on Nick. But it's bad because she was nice and her skanky clothes always brought hot guys along with her.
Zack was there today. He was so hot. He had this white wife-beater on. The last time I saw him was in the winter time when he had that sexy leather jacket. Good lord, he's cute.
Evy invited me to move with her to Ashland, Oregon. So I've never been there, but she claims it's nice. And there's no malls. If I ever move there, I don't know how I'll survive without a Macy's.
I also got to grab Evy's boobs.
Yeah, more on that later. XD

Find Out Which Senshi You Are At SailorOrion.com

this is just too cute!

So it's official, I'm getting the hell away from here. I'd rather die than stay here with these people. All they do is argue and hate and yell at eachother. And I will no longer be a part of it. This whole family makes me sick. I'd leave now if I knew where I was going.

I forgot to mention that my mom bought me a vanilla creme frapiccino. They're damn good!

My dad's being an asshole. It's not my fault he bought all that shit in my room that I didn't want. All he's been doing is yelling at me. There's more proof that I need to leave. Maybe this wont be a vacation. Maybe I'll just run away. Fuck him. Fuck everybody.

Whoo! I just went to Amazon, and I added a bunch of 80s cartoons to my wish list. Come on, buy them for me! XD

So guess whose cds weren't in the mail today? Moi's! I'm so pissed off! If I don't get them tomorrow, I'm going to call yesasia. Seriously, I am. It's been two weeks since I ordered the shit. It will all be worth it when Hikki's new album is in my hands.
I guess I'll settle for some Kylie. *chairdances*

So at Nob Hill, they have 2-liter bottles of Vanilla Coke. Four of them for $5. Guess who's gonna buy sixteen of them. ROFLMAO!

I'm so spoiled. This morning, Corey gave me a vanilla coke. YAY! Then at lunch he gave me half of his bagel pizza. And THEN he gave me m&m's. Whee! I've never had anyone give me so much. I feel loved.
So, I've been thinking that after school, I go on vacation. I know it's a little difficult. But I need to get away. It's depressing me just living in this house, with all this drama. But the thing is, I'm not going with anyone. I'm going by myself. I don't even know where I'm going, or when I'm going. But I'm going. If that makes any sense. Right now I'm thinking about Seattle. And there are lots of discounts for students. I can even get this card where I can get 15% off my train ride on Amtrak. Because I'm not going on plane.

Who wants to take Ryan out?
*waits to see whose raising their hands*

So, if my cd's don't come in today, I'm going to scream at yesasia. Yes, the chosen one is serious. YAHHHHHHHHHHHHH! XP

Unite!

dedicated to Evy

I'm going to try not to go astray anymore...
There is something I want to tell you.
I could spend the fun times with anyone,
but when I'm sad, yeah,
no one else can take your place.

In your dreams,
even in troubled times,
I don't want you to forget me.

Freedom in the right hand, Love in the left
We'll walk on, embracing both, and stumbling from time to time.

The coming of another, same morning is depressing.
Suddenly, the square sky seems very empty.
There have been days when suddenly I shed tears at daybreak
I told you while crying:

People are short-lived, but they are strong.
I have you, who will protect me.

Freedom in the right hand, Love in the left
We'll walk on, embracing both, and stumbling from time to time.

wow wow wow
~Ayumi Hamasaki

I'm karma beads!

"Don't squash that ant! You may come back as one!"

Which bracelet are you?

Made by notsobeautiful

Find out if you are gay, bi, or str8.

Pretty Boy

Find out what anime character cliche you are.

Adorable

Find out what anime character cliche you are.

So today, I cried. Not because of anything sad, well not terribly sad. And for the first time, it had nothing to do with me. It was, you see, one of those moments where I lost the remote to the television and since I was watching Undressed the night before, just happend to turn on the tv to the season finale of The Real World. Let me tell you, I was bawling. Yes, I was sad that Keri and Kyle never ended up together. That they will most likely never see eachother again. I'm hurt at the actions Tonya made throughout the season. I mean, all six of them had their arms open for you Tonya, there is now reason to act like a crazy bitch. I'm sad that I'll never see Aneesa say something funny. Or what will become of the friendship Theo has made with Chris. Speaking of Chris, can I fuck him now? :9

Then I saw Brandy's Special Delivery. She had a baby girl. She was born on father's day. I don't know if it was the part when her mother goes, "is that my grandbaby!" or when her husband stood there and cried. I was off. I had my blanket around me in the 105 degree heat clutching my Stitch plushie for all it's worth. God, I'm such a pussy.

Positive Ryan: Well, at least we know how to turn percents into decimals and fractions and vice-versa.
Negative Ryan: You mean just like that little button on my calculator? SHUT YOUR MOUTH! *slayer slap*

It's incredibly hard to live in this house now. There's no supervision. And not to mention that I'm feeling very alone. It's hard to sit here and have no phone calls. Or have no mail, except the occasional bank statements. Life really sucks. The only way I get away from all this hurting is by going to work. Even when I'm not schedueled. It's the only place I feel safe now a days.

Anyway, here's a survey that was e-mailed to me.

i am: the incredibly crazy, sexy, and cool R.Dub!
i think: of ways to make my life better
i want: to be famous
i know: that there's no such thing as wrong or right
i have: a growing collection of Ayumi Hamasaki albums and music videos
i wish: I could meet ayu, herself.
i hate: how people treat me
i miss: my ray-ray *sniffle*
i fear: becoming unsuccesful
i feel: alone, very alone
i hear: beyonce knowles, "work it out"
i smell: lemonade
i crave: vanilla coke
i search: for love and understanding
i wonder: will I ever be happy?
i regret: nothing!
i love: ayumi hamasaki
i long: to be rid of all this "hateration"
i care: about Evy
i always: start the day with a song
i am not: as dumb as I look
i believe: that I'm the chosen one!

i dance: all the time
i sing: all the time
i cry: all the time
i do not always: tell it like it is
i fight: to stay alive
i write: what i feel
i win: new perspective
i lose: nothing
i never: give up that sparkle of hope
i confuse: my parents
i listen: to the divas, Ayu, Hikki, Maddona, Kylie, and Cher
i can usually be found: at work or at home watching Buffy
i am scared: of zombies *shivers*
i need: a lover
i am happy when: I get what I want
i expect: everything to be negative
i should: see the positive side more

I'm contemplating whether I should go see The Powerpuff Girls movie today or not. If I don't see it today, then I'll probably never see it. For free at least. And who wants to pay $9 to see a cartoon. Not me.
When the hell are my cds coming? I'm so lonely. I don't want to go to school tonight. >.<

You know what's great? MTV brought Undressed back! w00t! That's got to be the best show on there. Except for Daria and the Jenny Mcarthy Show. Anybody remember that show? I did! :D

Must...have....Vanilla Coke! *dies*

I haven't posted eye candy in a while. So here's something to make up for it.

*southern accent* "MMM, he's been eating all his vegitables!"

Interesting day today. While I was working in the box office, this woman I had just sold a ticket to asks me, "Are you a singer?" And I said yes. She then told me she could tell because I have a "singer's voice." I didn't know singers had any distinct voices. But I thought it was nice that someone ignoliged me for a change.

And for the record, whoever buys me A Walk to Remember on DVD, I will marry them. YES, I'm serious.

Mmmmm, I just had a shitload of fried oysters and prawns with french fries. *is so full* But the restaraunt didn't have Vanilla Coke! *smites them*

Liz came back today. She told me how the other day she got really drunk. Drunk, in a foriegn country, without me? *sniffles* I MISSED YOU, LIZ!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm so jealous. Everytime I see Hillary, she looks better and better while I look like shit. I hate the way I look. >.<

Oh, and Ragnarok is down for another four days! WHY! *smites Gravity, too* XP

And yes, I'm NOT in a good mood.

Where are you Erik? I lava you! ;_;

There's a position open for a new best friend. To apply all you have to do is buy me something.

YAY! Everything seems to be going ok, now. Thanks to Meagan of unladylike. Whee!

I just can't get this damn thing to look right. If anyone has any ideas and suggestions, please let me know!
*dies*

w00t!! The new layout is up! LOVE THE BUFFY! There's a lot of things I need to put on here. But I'll wait until in the afternoon. I need some fucking sleep. Goodnight.

And now something to lift the spirits.

Angel - Sarah McLachlan

Spend all your time waiting
For that second chance
For a break that would make it okay
There's always one reason
To fee not good enough
And it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
Oh beautiful release
Memory seeps from my veins
Let me be empty
And weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight

In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here

So tired of the straight line
And everywhere you turn
There's vultures and thieves at your back
And the storm keeps on twisting
You keep on building the lie
That you make up for all that you lack
It don't make no difference
Escaping one last time
It's easier to believe in this sweet madness oh
This glorious sadness that brings me to my knees

In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here

Which Talk Soup host are you?

Aisha was my favorite talk soup host! Too bad it's cancelled. I love that show. Stoopid E! They keep Wild On and Howard Stern, which is nothing but softcore porn. Then they do that horrible revealed with Jules Asner. I hate Alyssa Milano. I hate Jules Asner even more. She can go to hell! >:D

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Hikaru Utada's new album is out! Shall I buy it? YES!!! *click*

Let's see...
If I'm not at work, I'm at school.
If I'm not at school, I'm at work.
There's no home time. I go straight from work to school and back to work.
Lord help me. >.<

I don't want to be a damn geek, anyway! XP

Chrysalis

7.31.2002

7.30.2002

7.29.2002

7.27.2002

7.24.2002

7.20.2002

7.19.2002

7.18.2002

7.17.2002

Spinning Around

7.16.2002

7.15.2002

7.14.2002

7.13.2002

7.12.2002

7.11.2002

Unite!

7.10.2002

7.09.2002

7.08.2002

7.07.2002

7.06.2002

7.05.2002

7.04.2002

7.03.2002

7.02.2002

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