Chrysalis

I've neglected this place. Wow.

Anyway, RO is now a pay service again. I don't know if I want to pay. It's $12 for one month. $32 for two months and $54 for six months. o.O

So, I'm playing Xenosaga again. I love it. And depressing to think this but, Jr. is hot! Why does he have to be like 12? I wanna see him all growed up. YUM!

posted by ryryguy @ 12:25 AM 0 comments

This heat is killing me. Everything is hot. Even ice at this point. My only guess that it's gonna be hot from now until September. Why is it so hot? Does Mother Nature not understand that I don't have any money? I couldn't afford to buy spring clothes. How can I buy summer clothes. Ugh, I'm so miserable. My new glasses are too nerdy. My clothes are all old. I haven't worn a new original outfit in so long. People are probably suspecting something. ;_;

I used to be known as the person who never wore the same outfit twice. Now I wear the same outfit every week. And I've become so lazy. Instead of planning some neat outfit, I go straight for the sweater. I have like 10 sweaters. Why? I live in California! These things just are happening at the wrong time. Why cant I have a fashion crisis next year, when I can fully get over the fact that my favorite show in my whole life is gone. And I'll probably stop watching Angel unless they have plans on bringing Cordy back. I've lost everything. And it shows. People don't want to look at me when they talk to me. And it's probably no big deal to anyone else, but it is to me. I live to have people's attention. And when that's gone, I start to get depressed. Not like school helps with it. School depresses me more. It always has.

My acne has gotten worse. It's like I'm fucking 14 again. All these huge bumps on my face. It's awful. If I didn't have to work, I'd be in my room. Hiding from the outside world. "Don't come in, I'm ugly!"

Yeah. I look and feel like shit.

posted by ryryguy @ 7:11 PM 0 comments

It's times like this that I could use a nice Reese Witherspoon movie to make me feel better. Too bad all three of them are at my mom's house. I need my Legally Blonde! >.<

posted by ryryguy @ 12:20 AM 0 comments

In honor of my favorite deceased and comatosed Buffyverse characters, I'll be making a new layout for them. A wonderful Cordy and Anya layout. And because I'm still heart broken, a song!

"I'm The Mrs." by Anya, Selfless 7.5

Mr. Xander Harris.
That's what he is to the world outside.
That's the name he carries with pride.
I'm just lately Anya.
Not very much to the world, I know.
All these years with nothing to show.


I've boned a troll,
I've wreaked some wrath,
But on the whole,
I've had no path.
I like to bowl,
I'm good with math,
But who am I?
Now I reply that


I'm the Missis
I will be his Missis.
Mrs. Anya Christina Emanuella Jenkins Harris.


What's the point of loving...
I mean except for the sweaty part.
What's the point of losing your heart?
Maybe if you're lucky
Being a pair makes you twice as tall.
Maybe you're not losing at all.


No need to cover up my heart,
Plus see above RE: sweaty part.
So maybe love is pretty smart
Then so am I
I found my guy!


And I'll be Missis
I will be his Missis
Mrs. Anya Lame-Ass-Made-Up-Maiden-Name Harris.
We'll never part
Not if we can
And if we start
Then here's my plan
I'll show him what bliss is
Welcome him with kisses
'Cause this is a Missis who misses her man


He's my Xander
And he's awfully swell
It makes financial sense as well,
Although he can be--I'll never tell--
Just stand aside
Here comes the bride


I'll be Missis.
I will be his Missis
I will be--

Rest in peace, my funny bunny. ;_;

posted by ryryguy @ 9:38 PM 0 comments

"Anya, wake up! Quit being weak and acting like a stupid human. GET UP! It's just a flesh wound. I've seen plenty of people wake up from getting themselves cut in half! GET UP! Anya... Anya...........
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

That could be heard throught the neighborhood along with hour long sobbing being heard. Yeah, the last episode was the most hurtful, beautiful episode I have ever seen. It's a shame that every episode couldn't have been like that.

Never in my life have I cried more than I did tonight. My security blanket has been ripped off of my crib. I feel so lost. ;_;

posted by ryryguy @ 10:20 PM 0 comments

I'd like to wish the class of 2003 and 2004 a WONDERFUL time at prom tonight. I love you guys, and I wish I was with you! ;_;

Have you ever wondered if you and a certian person were meant to be? Well, I thought that we weren't. But I still think I'm in love with this person, which we will call LEAHCAR. Leahcar hurt me. Real bad. And this whole time I felt like I should just give up on girls altogether. Don't get me wrong. This whole gay thing is great. But what if it's just a phase. I seem to have a lot of those. I saw her again the other day. We actually said hello to eachother. And she still makes my heart go all bumpity bump. I've never been so confused about my feelings before. I'm lost. But I don't want to end on a sad note.

I'm considering buying a domain. And moving everything to it. This blog, the site, everything. I'm even thinking about making a fansite to Cordy. LOL, I wonder if Rayray remembers my James Marsden layout on my old site. I miss that site. It was my favorite. ;_;

Well, I gotta go work now.

posted by ryryguy @ 3:28 PM 0 comments

I just realized that the counter doesn't work anymore. That's weird. Anyway, five days left. ;_;

So I've decided. I can't really afford to do anything now. Not with paying for school and now I have to pay for insurance. I've decided that I can't work and go to school anymore. I can't do both. It drains me. I'm not going to go to school next semester. Just to see what it's like. So far, it seems like a pretty solid plan. I don't have to worry about tuition or books. And I don't have to sit in class and be an idiot. I'm tired of pretending to be something I'm not. And pretending to sit in class and pretending to learn things just isn't cutting it anymore. And I don't see why I have to go to school anyway. I've been in school for 13 years. That's too much. And if people expect me to go to school for another three years, they are sadly mistaken. I'm through with it. You can have your higher educataion. I'm fine with the 13 years of hell I've been through.
I'm tired of not having any money. It's because I don't work enough. These past few weeks have been hard. Not having anything to eat. Does anyone know the last time I bought new clothes? A very long time. I've been wearing the same clothes for almost a year now. I've never done that. It makes me sick to my stomach to see myself like this. God, I wish that this was happening to someone else and not me.

But once this semseter is over, I can focuss more on the more important things in my life. Which, in reality, school is not one of them. Never has been and never will be.

But I could go on forever talking about why I can't stand it. But I have to go deposit my measily pay check in the bank.

posted by ryryguy @ 5:34 PM 0 comments

Marsters In, Carpenter Out as the WB Renews 'Angel'
By Brian Ford Sullivan

CHICAGO (thefutoncritic.com) - A fifth season of "Angel" will take flight as the WB has ordered 22 episodes for next season. The news comes on the eve of the Frog's upfront presentation to the advertising community tomorrow morning.

"Angel" will remain at 90/80c on Wednesdays where it will be joined by a relocated "Smallville" at 80/70c. The WB held off an earlier pickup as the network wanted to see how all of its drama pilots would pan out, not to mention that a new licensing deal had to be negotiated. The new deal with distributor 20th Century Fox (financial details of which were not revealed) includes an option for a sixth season of the series.

Former "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" regular James Marsters is also set to reprise his role as Spike on the drama next season while Charisma Carpenter, who plays Cordelia, is not expected to return as a series regular. On the producing side, Jeffrey Bell and Tim Minear will be the executive producers/showrunners next season.

You can't do this to me. YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME! YOU CAN'T DO THIS TOOOO MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fuck you, Mutant Enemy, Joss Whedon, and The WB!!!

posted by ryryguy @ 9:51 PM 0 comments

I finally set a goal for myself today... Well not a definate goal, but probably the first one I've ever made in my life.

I was driving down Alhambra going past John Sweat Elementary. I didn't know where I was going. I thought I was headed towards Pleasant Hill, but I was on this winding road for half an hour. So I turned onto another street, I ended up at a dead end to Briones. So I turned back and I tried to find my way back to town. Well, on my way, I noticed the most beautiful house being built, so I turned back. Actually, all these houses in this area were beautiful. Out in the middle of nowhere. Large, mansions almost. Well, I pulled up into a street to take a look. God, I fell in love with these houseses. I pulled up to one and saw it's long driveway. I noticed that there was another house really close to it with it's own driveway. So I pulled up and realized that the houseses were in fact, ONE HOUSE. The house was so frickin big that it needed TWO driveways. It was so breathtaking. So I bid farewell to my mystery neighborhood and headed back towards Martinez. But I vowed that some day in my life, I will own one of those houses. I have to.

Good GOD, I love the new Jewel song! She just keeps changing. First she was all folk, then it was poetry, then it was country, and now she's gone POP! I'm loving it. Oh and the video? HOT! She has a wet t-shirt an everything.

.... Not like I was lookin' or anything.

posted by ryryguy @ 1:03 AM 0 comments

Never in my life have I cried more than I did last night watching Angel. That was some depressing shit, yo.

Anyway, I've been gone for a while. I've been consumed in Ragnarok Online. Stupid thing. I have to travel all the way to Prontera to become a merchant. Blah.

I don't think I posted about my lamp yet. Me and my mom went back to Angels Camp Sunday and checked out the thrift stores. Well, anyway, I found these cool lamps that were made of quartz crystal. Yeah, they took huge pieces of quartz crystal and put a light inside of it. It's so pretty. I have to get my digital camera to show everyone pictures of it. It's so cool. My brother came over the other night when I was watching Charmed and it was all glowing in my dark room and it freaked him out. He said, "Holy crap! That Charmed shit is real!!" and ran out. LOL!!

Oh and my dad is pissed at me yet again. He seems to believe that I'm responsible for his phone acting weird. It says that whenever someone calls him, it says my name on the caller ID. Now how is that my fault? He should have never gotten a phone from Verizon. They suck. T-Mobile owns.

posted by ryryguy @ 12:06 PM 0 comments

Just when I thought I had Angel all figured out, they go and bring Lilah back from the dead! And what about Cordy? When is she coming back? Does Joss not understand that taking out two of the characters I mostly look up to will result in my path towards self destruction? He's killing Anya off?? Why would he do such a thing? Why can't he kill Dawn or Connor? They're not supposed to be there any fucking way.

I actually did my homework tonight. That's a first. I never finish homework in one night. Congrats to me, I guess.

I get to see X2 tonight!! 24 hours before all you common folk! Yay me!! XD

I'm just joking. But still, I get to be in a dark room with James Marsden. In tights!

posted by ryryguy @ 1:57 AM 0 comments