Chrysalis: 01/01/2002

Today was weird.
It started off with me getting to school late. Then I come into class and watch the worst movie in the world. The Odessey. That movie so ISN'T lame! Jeebus, it kept going on and on and I was wishing it would stop. When I came back 7th period, I knew what to expect. But as I was sitting there, thoughts ran my mind. I was thinking about all those guys on that ship in the middle of no where. With nothing on but those togas. I got this super-boner that wouldn't go away. Guess who's not watching the rest of it tomorrow. *raises hand*

In other news, Evy isn't in journalism anymore. It's very sad. I could barely function without her. She's only next door. I still miss her.

I'm at school and I have to use the bathroom! Do you know how hard it is to hold it until you get home? I hate using school bathrooms.

So I returned that god-awful book, Whitechurch, to the Library. I was so tired of being pissed off. I mean when was the main character gonna realize that he was bisexual? Never? He likes his best friend and his girlfriend. I don't know why he tries to hide it. It's not like he's the only one. Shit, I do that all the time. What's his childhood trauma?

So I need a new book. Maybe Buffy related? Cause those are the only ones I enjoy.

Oh lucky me. I have found out my semester grades.

Senior Math: F
IWE: I don't get a grade, just credit
Anthropology: D, I did really shitty on the final exam
Journalism: D, Mr. Reichert treats us like slaves
Civics: D+, at least this teacher likes me
English: D, and I'm a IWE for Ms. Stone, too

Well I guess as soon as I turn 18, I'm out the house. Save a cardboard box for me. ;_;

Nita, Nita, Nita! The GSA is so not contreversal. Me, being an ex member and all. The whole club is a giant clique of nothing but drama students who think they are too cool and too EMO to hang out with "real" people. So they jump up and create such bullshit clubs such as, GSA, ARA, and NOW. Because they wan't a chance to show off their fucking coolness by having all these "Funky Fresh" clubs that they belong to. They do no work to help people. They're probably more shallow than I am. Please, Nita. At least you and Crystal's club would actually HELP people.
Sure, GSA, ARA, and NOW were good clubs. But now that they're run by the "oooh, we're so cool cause we can act!" people, they suck. And they piss me off.

/end my two cents

You're slick, sleek, and you waste no time when there's a mission to be taken care of. You do what you're told, even if it sometimes means risking your life. You care for others to such an extent that you'd do anything for the ones you love. Not only that, but you're stylish, original, agile, and passionate.

Ugh, math class is horrible!
First off, Mr. Ford makes me sit next to noneother than Rachael! All the bad memories are rushing back to me.
And then he assigns this stupid essay! Where I have to plan the next ten years of my life! I don't even see myself living in 5 years, let alone 10!
I'm gonna write, "I'll be dead."

How well do you all know me?
Take this Quiz!

Night School was boring. But Gina was there. And we talked about things. Like our summer school teacher's horrible breath. And our friend Christina's horrible hair.
Sometimes I wish that I never had screwed up so much and I would be able to actually attend college. But then I realize that I'm an idiot and college would be the worst thing for me.

auroraXK: I saw the best movie last night
Ryanclr22: what
auroraXK: a walk to remember
Ryanclr22: righty then
auroraXK: I cried
Ryanclr22: lol it looks like a retarded movie
auroraXK: well it's not
Ryanclr22: your opinion
---------------------------------
Ugh, he should be killed! KILLED! >.<

See what Care Bear you are.

Why the hell does Jenny get to talk to interesting people online? Fuck that! I can find just as much interesting people too! HA!

I'll always remember.... it was late afternoon.... it lasted forever.... but ended too soon.

I don't want to go to night school today. It bites. It bites hard!
I want to stay home and go shopping. I hate night school. It's all Mrs. Bell's fault. Fat bitch.

ROFLMAO!!

Before the movie, I went to the Chinese/Japanese restaurant across the street. I ate like a whale, literaly. I had this huge platter of sushi. It was all raw. Then I got a plate of tempura, grilled calamari, steamed rice, and miso soup. I only ate the soup, rice, and sushi. I took everything else to go. I feel so fat. But atleast it's healthier than Chinese food. I hate Chinese food.

Got MSG? O__o;

I just saw "A Walk To Remember" and loved it. The movie was FANTASTIC. I found myself bawling as the ending credits rolled up. Mandy Moore is such a good actress. I could barely tell that it was here without looking at the credits. And when she sang, WOW.
I recomend this movie. I'm going to buy the book and the soundtrack soon. Unless someone wants to buy it for me. *looks at the link to his wish list*

I had the craziest dream today-

I was at this party and everyone was there. Everyone that I know and work with and all my friends from school. So I'm looking around and I see Matt and Meghan. Matt was actually CHEERFUL and he was dancing around with Meghan. I was seriously upset. So I turned around. And I saw Evy and Brian all over eachother. I was sorta confused cause Brian's gay. But I was equally as jealous. So the party ends and I end up back at my house with Evy. And then a stroked her hair and we kissed. And it lasted for a good 2 or 3 minutes. And it was really vivid. And the sad thing is, I think I like her again. Now when we work together, she's always rubbing against me and laying her head on my shoulder. And we always flirt. And today her ass was right in my face. It was so awkward. I didn't know how to act. I dunno what to do.

;_;
I got really far on Diablo II and then I got killed. I lost all my cool armor and my spear. All I have left is this lame sword. All should have pitty on me. *dies*

Why the hell are my parents bendig over backwards for my stupid brother? I'll tell you why. Because he's a looser who I haven't seen in 12 years and all of a sudden he wants to be part of our lives again. You know what? I could care less. He could die and I wouldn't be upset because I don't think of him as my real brother anyway. The only brother I have is Randy. And we've been doing pretty fine without our older brother. Now Randy's gonna look up to him. Dammit!

I really need to not stay in this house too long. :-/

I want to see "A Walk To Remember"!!
But Evy says I'm working tonight. I don't want to! I hate working Fridays

Cute!! I love it! I feel like my blog is part of the Partrige Family Bus. *giggle*

Yeah well that layout I was working on was finally sent to the recycling bin. Thank god. It sucked. I'll have to choose a new layout. But I like the fruit so much! :-/

I updated the writings page today. I added three more lyrics. I really need to start writing more. And no, not journalism! >.<
I'm working on a new template for this blog here. I've been screwing around with MS Front Page and I've come up with something pretty cute. I'll see if I can change it.

You're Lulu. You seem a little insensitive to those who don't know you very well, due to your cynical nature. Your mind is always thinking of things, big and small. You have a tough time of letting go of the past. You also like to bash people with plushies for fun and then fry them up with some tasty magic~! XD

Which Final Fantasy X Character would YOU be? Take the test.

A Song Is Born, Ayumi Hamasaki

Long, long ago, in the far-off
past, this world was born.

In the ever-repeating history,
we have inherited life.

But from here, the only way
I can tell you this is by
singing this song.

Remember, just one more time
the form this world should have.
And please, don't forget,
please, please don't forget.

Surely no one was hoping for
any of those terrible things.

Hold the flowers to your heart,
and pray that they may some day bloom.

From here, the only way
I can tell you this is by
singing this song;

I'll be happy if you'd lend me
your ear, even just for a little bit.

Remember, just one more time
how we were born, crying, into this world.
Your dreams and hopes for tomorrow
are all in this world.

From here, the only way
I can tell you this is by
singing this song;

I'll be happy if you'd lend me
your ear, even just for a little bit.

Remember, just one more time
the form this world should have.
And please, don't forget,
please, please don't forget.

Well our Wal*Mart is finally open.

I took the final for journalism today and I asked Mr. Reichert to estimate how I did on it. He said that I got a 73% and then gave Matt a 79%! I was so pissed! I actually stay awake durring class. I should be the one getting at least an 80%. Then I asked why and he gave me this lame excuse saying I write like I'm talking to someone. Ok, why would I write like I'm talking to someone when I actually have the ability to TALK to someone. Damn him. He didn't put my last story in the paper either. Instead the same bitch who took my story, took my other one. The fat bitch has no story so she decides to steal mine, oh no! I don't go for that.

When is Cordellia gonna kick some ass? She's half demon now! I know that if she was in Sunnydale, she'd be kicking ass any chance she got. *nod*

I am Merle!
I took the catgirl test by
Meeki

Click here
to take the test!

I love the new Mandy Moore song, "Cry." We're getting her movie, "A Walk To Remember," this Friday. I'm so happy. I can't wait to see it.
I'm also so excited to see the Britney movie, "Crossroads."

I took the Utena Chara-Selector test! Which character would you be?

Test made by Merulu

Which female character from Final Fantasy 4-10 are you?

Go find out here! made by

Fred is my new fave character. I can't take this UPN/WB thing! I want my Buffy and Angel together! On UPN. WB sucks major ass.

I'm so anti this Angel/Cordellia thing. It's wrong! It's sick! It's just not right! WHY? HOW?
I know it seems "so cool!' to those loosers who just started watching the trench coat vampire savior. But for me, a DIE HARD Buffy fan boy? Oh uh-uh! I love Queen C. And I love Angelcakes. But what about Buffy? The slayer he loved so much? What about how glad he was to hear that she had come back? "Yay! My true love is back from the dead and now I'm gonna boink her classmate!"

If Buffy and I were on the WB, we'd be kicking some ass. We'd cut everyone's hair and have all the guys have sex with eachother. Woo hoo!!

And what's with this uncalled Slayer bitch? The ONLY called Slayer is FAITH! Buffy died, Kendra was called, Kendra died, Faith was called. FAITH FAITH FAITH!

Red: 3/100 Blue: 11/100 White: 16/100 Yellow: 15/100

Take the Color Code Test
by Dano

I took this select smart test a while back. It's a Teen Clothing Stereotype Quiz. The results are:

# 1 Flashy/Slutty
# 2 Ghetto
# 3 Sporty/casual
# 4 Prep
# 5 Raver
# 6 Funky alternative *unique*
# 7 Goth
# 8 Skater
# 9 Hardcore Punk
# 10 Emo

This is a surprise. I guessed prep and I get slutty? I'm not even slutty. I have pictures to proove it! I'm not a slut! I said no to leather and vinyl. I don't wear ANYTHING slutty. I'm gonna keep retaking this test till it tells me that I'm a prep. A PREP!

GRRR! I don't know what to do anymore! Fucking Meghan with her wishy-washy ways just pisses me off. I love her to death but if she can't see that Matt makes unhappy, then she's just as stupid and shallow as the rest of them. It's not MY fault. I offered her better and she still chooses him! Her family even likes me! Now that's saying something.

Speaking of her family. Her sister was at the theatre today. She INSTANTLY remembers me and we talk with her and her boyfriend.
But enough about Meghan.

You know who was at the theatre today? ZACK WAS! Me and Liz thought we'd never see him again. Too bad. We should of wished to never see his girlfriend again. :-/
He's way to pretty to be with her. He should be with me.
Before I left, I got to hand feed Brendon a green Sour Patch Kid. Like I said before. I'm winning him over. He doesn't need Drusilla.
And Zack's girlfriend looks like fucking Darla. I think someone should call Angel. I'll be Cordellia! *^^*

Sad thing is when I like a person, I'll never tell them. Know why? Because the last time I did, I ended up cutting myself. And with the next few months marking the year since me and Rachael ceased to exist, I'd like not to let this Valentine's Day be a reflection of what happened last year.

I still have the scars on my arm....

You will marry NEO (played by Keanu Reeves) from The Matrix, live in a big metal ship trying to escape from a world controlled by computers, and spend your days travelling through phone lines, hacking into the Matrix, and dodging bullets in slow motion.

What's YOUR M * A * S * H future?

I had an emergency today. My eyebrow ring fell out so I had to buy a new one before my peircing closed. This one is just like the one I lost only the balls are blue instead of pink. It makes my face look better. And it matches my light blue jeans. ^^;;

I love Jeanna's new hairstyle! It's so adorable. I want to be adorable. Maybe then I'll get a date. :-/

I had lunchables and chocolate pudding for lunch at night school. Aren't I in thrid grade? Next time, I'll trade them for Jessika's cup of noodles. ^^;;

I stayed home today. And I put some finishing touches on me and Jason's poster for English. When I realized that I had put two things in the wrong order. But oh well. At least everything else loos right.

teehee, this thing says I'm pretty. *^^*

I played Super Smash Brothers Melee today at Jason's house. It kicked ass. I love playing Princess Zelda. She's so cool. *_* All the items and things were off the hook. I like the Pokéballs. But enough about me and stupid video games. I'm more interested with my Ayu cds. *nod*

I got to spend 3 hours with Brendon at work. They were great. Most of it was spent with him in the ice room. Where a few weeks before, I had a dream that we were doing the same thing. But I gave him head when we were finished. I found it amusing when he asked "are we done here?" I was like "well if this all goes according to my dream, then HELL NO!"
Too bad. I love that boy. *sigh*

I saw Christina today at work. She had her hair put in corn rows with bright red extentions. I thought they looked cute. Ashley said they didn't. But she could of used a softer color. Maybe a light blue or something.
I also saw Gina last night at the market. She got a new car. A navy Jeep Cherokee. Too cute! I love it when I see people doing good.

I tried to call Meghan at my break but no one was home. I hate not being able to see her all the time.

So I swallowed my pride on Friday and gave Eric a hug of apology. I wasn't really sorry. Shit, I'm never sorry. But I was tired of him calling me a bitch for no reason. Fuck that.

w00t!! That was quick! I got my cds in the mail TODAY! I'm so excited! And I just can't hide it. I'm about to loose control and I think I like it!
Me and Nita are on a roll! Let's have EVERYBODY make a blog! XD~

Take the Corporate Mascot Test at Willaston's Lounge!

We're not wishing
for all that much.

Hidden in the shadow of a grey building
I said "who's that waiting patiently?"
I saw it while rubbing my eyes.
It was me, you, and that kid.

It's not that I couldn't see anything in my solitude.
It's that I didn't want to.

It's okay sometimes to think
we were born to be happy.
If you listen carefully you can hear it,
the shout-like prayer hidden inside.

Sometime in that river
a piece of my broken dream floated by.
The promises I couldn't keep
have one by one caused pain.

It's okay sometimes to think we live
to someday become happy.
Even though I know that the things
reflected in my eyes aren't all perfect.

Without being able to face even the tragic play before my eyes,
I don't think my hand can reach one that's far away.

It's ok sometimes to think
we were born to be happy.
I really want to open the door.
I should just say it.
I should just say it.

Ayumi Hamasaki, Immature

What's that Rian? You said that your cds have been mailed? Really? You said it's about fucking time? Yeah I know.

I just came back from a meeting at the adult school. I have to make up a whole semester of Science. Because thanks to the new principal(bitch), I can no longer make up half a year of a year long class. But we could before! She's screwing everything up! I don't like her. Now I have to go to MTZ Adult twice a fucking week and sit in a stinky classroom with a bunch of old people working my ass off for three hours. I wont be that hard. I see myself finishing in at least 4 or 5 weeks. Not no fucking 10 weeks. That's just not right.

If I were a Slayers character, I'd be Filia ul Copt! Who would you be?

Boy was I snapped into reality today. I showed Nikita my picture of Meghan and Duane on my binder and she was like, "eeew! He's butt ass ugly!" She kept telling me how much better I could do. Which is the truth I guess. I'm always settling for second best. It gets really annoying cause I do it so the more deserving people get their first pick. But what about what I want? I could have anybody I wanted if I wasn't so fucking timid. I should really stop being a people pleaser and please myself instead. *nod*

Good GOD, I love teasing Matt! XD~~

"Gone" Episode 11
Well this had to be one of the funniest episodes so far this season. First off, Sarah's new hair style is adorible! I'd like to congradulate Willow on being the hero of the day without any magick. Dawn was the usual spoild brat bitch and once again, no one noticed the little pest. Speaking of pests, Buffy going around bugging people was GREAT. The whole freaking out the Social Services lady and had her whistling "Going Through The Motions" out the door. But the disturbing thing is the whole Spuffy thing. I did not want to see Spike put his hand in Buffy's pocket and... "feel around". and I sure as hell didn't want to see him fuck invisible Buffy either. But I do admit I got a little hot from it. With Buffy not being visible it was almost like some sort of masterbation montoge. And JM has a VERRY nice butt.
The stars of this episode: Buffy's hair, Willow, Spike's all around hotness.

NEW BUFFY TONIGHT!!

Yeah, that's me alright! ^.^;

There's this guy named Eric. And he is friends with Duane, Matt and all of their other looser friends. So anyway, yesterday he gives me his phone number and asks me to call him. He's incredibly stupid and of course I'm not gonna call him. So I come into class today and he has nerve enough to have an attitude with me. When he knows damn well the things he says to me he shouldn't. So he's all pissed off and I'd like to tell him that he's pressing his luck on being my friend and I'll never, EVER call him. I have better things to do. Like call Meghan.

Today was pretty cool. Started off with an easy going time in math. Followed by my assisting Ms. Stone. Which was pretty cool. I had a ton of fun especially with the whole school-wide bomb threat that we didn't know about untill afterwards. Jill comes on the loud speaker saying that we all must stay in our classrooms and not go outside to long passing. It was very odd. She never told us why. Untill someone in our class got an instant message on his cell phone from his friend saying it was a bomb threat. Then everyone whiped out their phones and it was like we were poster children for Nokia. Of course, mine was the coolest. Hello Kitty face and back plates and a flashing battery. ^^;
Jenna gave me the cuttest picture of her and her sister, Shannon. I put it on my binder. And then Meghan gave me a picture of her and Duane(*cough*) and I put that on my binder as well. Right underneath the one of Jenna and Shannon.
Me and Meghan spent luch together. Inside the DogHouse. Andraya french-braided her hair and we listened to music and dances in our chairs. LOL, she poped her collars. But not before I tried to hit her boyfriend Matt up for some money. Cause I was hungry. And do you know what he said? HE SAID NO! I'm not talking to him. ():-p
So anyway, Meghan and I had a blast. I really like her.

Did I mention I'm feeling MUCH better? I feel great! I think I'll be able to sing in Sound Mix tomorrow.

I'm gonna go write in my journal somemore.

This morning I took Meghan's advice and wrote in a journal. I wrote about her, of course, and about Rachael and how much I hate her. I wrote about how much I love my job, but I'm upset that they wont let me go any further. It really makes me fustrated.
I'm opening tomorrow. That makes me happy. I don't like to close.
Today, Sean got suspended for a week and so did Kenny. There's a new bulletin on the time card machine that says that there should be no more rude comments about a person's sex, age, religion, sexual orienation, and etc... When I saw this, I instantly knew that Kenny was in trouble. Poor thing. I really like him but he can be annoying sometimes.

Take the What Should Your New Year's Resolution Be? Quiz

Oh great, even this quiz is stating the obvious! -.-;;

Picture of the Week is:

Ayu's so pretty. *_*

Today was awful. All day I was in a docter's office. First thing in the morning, I have two fillings with my dentist. Then at 3, meeting with my psycologyst. Then afterwards I had to go to pediactrics to see about my cold/flu/sinus infection. So the doctor gives me a prescription for these huge ass horse pill antibiotics. They hurt just looking at them.

BUFFY SPOILERS!!
Dead Things
Ep: 13. Airdate: 2/5/01 (tentative). Writer: Steven S. DeKnight. Director: James A Contner

This will *not* be lighthearted. Mostly dark material (sex/violence) and some scenes that may not make it to air.

NEW! Warren uses another gadget to make his ex-girlfriend Katrina a willing slave to him and his pals, but when the effects wear off and Katrina tries to escape the grasp of the nerdy supervillains, she's accidentally killed. (This is the death of the episode and this is probably the real source of the "rape" rumors. There is no actual rape scene, but indications and accusations of non-consensual behavior.)

NEW! There is a cute post-sex scene between Buffy and Spike where they chat about decorating and their relationship. (I will not be addressing the nature of the other sexual material of this episode on this page due to the potential for removal from the ep and the lack of necessity for raunchy details. Check the spoiler board--check, do not start new threads to ask about it--or e-mail me privately for details if it's a concern for you.)

NEW! With the use of magic and demonic forces, Warren and friends set up Buffy to make her think *she* killed Katrina--and it works.

NEW! Spike tries to help Buffy after the incident and keep her from confessing to the crime, but his efforts, including voluntarily taking a vicious verbal/physical thrashing from the Slayer, are useless.

Dawn and Xander waltz together in preparation for Xander's wedding--to Anya. (Jeez, ya silly people. There is no Dawn/Xander romance!)

NEW! Buffy discovers the truth behind her returning back to life "wrong." It's the worst thing she could want it to be.

NEW! After learning about the spell that brought her back, Buffy confesses to Tara the truth about her and Spike and amidst all her confusion and shame, breaks down into tears.

Older and Far Away

Ep: 14. Airdate: 2/19/02 (tentative).

NEW! Buffy's birthday ep. A party gathers at the Summers house with the usual suspects and a few old and new faces as well. Surprisingly, the party itself goes of without much complication, but the next morning is another story.

NEW! Denied necessary attention from her sister and others, Dawn's wish to keep people from going away is answered by a demonic friend who binds the attendees of Buffy's birthday bash to the house. Of course, with a dangerous monster also confined with them.

NEW! Dawn's stealing habits are discovered.

NEW! Jealousy runs wild as Xander and Anya set Buffy up with a guy at her party and Spike shows up uninvited.

NEW! Anya freaks about being locked in the house, but Xander is there to calm and reassure her that everything is okay.

Tara is very much alive at the end of this ep. (She doesn't die in this ep and not before it.)

As You Were

Ep: 15. Airdate: 2/26/02 (tentative).

NEW! Riley returns for an episode. Not dead but of the living...and married. Buffy's own "relationship" with Spike comes into question when her ex's perfect romance shows her just what she doesn't have.

You know what? I think I cuss way too much. Every other word out of my mouth is fowl language. That's not sophisticated at all. And I'm supposed to be Sophisticated Spice, not Ghetto Rat Spice! ():-\

So my "ayu-ro mix 2" cd is in stock and now they're waiting for "I am..."
I can't wait that long! I want my cds NOW!! I can't go on without my Ayu. *cries*

Teehee! funny conversation with Matt:
----
auroraXK: my mind's in the gutter
auroraXK: I went to type "hug" and instead I typed "hung"
*****: you dirty dirty ryan
auroraXK: speaking of dirty me
auroraXK: how's your brother?
----
Why am I such a fucking skank and I haven't even had sex yet? The whole fucking school thinks I'm a slut and in reality, I'm not getting fucking ANYTHING.

Another Ayu great, "Immature" That has to be the coolest song ever! Excluding anything else she's done, of course.

I'm an Ayumi Hamasaki FAN BOY!

Still waiting for my Ayu cds. As soon as I get more money, I'm gonna buy all of her previous albums.
Today has started off so horribly. My right eye is all red cause of a problem I had putting on my contacts. Damn things. My shoes that I wear to work are all muddy and there's holes in them. I have to buy new shoes. That's gonna cost money. ;_;

I'm really sad. I woke up today after a nice nap and I hear my favorite song. "Who..." by Ayumi Hamasaki. Usually, the song makes me feel a little sad, but it's a beautiful sadness. Today, I found myself bawling singing along. I have no idea why. I kept thinking about the past. About Rachael and things and looking towards the future and realized that my life sucks. Seriously. I wish I could turn back time. That way I wouldn't have made all the mistakes that I did in the past. But I can't. I'll have to find something to look forward to in the future.
Rian needs to prioritize. I'm gonna go take a shower.

Happy New Year.

2002, like I give a flying fuck. >:-(

Chrysalis

1.31.2002

1.30.2002

1.29.2002

1.28.2002

1.27.2002

1.26.2002

1.25.2002

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