Chrysalis: 12/01/2002

Saturday Scruples

1. You're a young actor belonging to a racial minority. Your first big movie role requires you to play a demeaning racial stereotype. Do you?
Well, being that I might come to this, I'd say no. Because me, being black, doesn't mean that I act like a stereotypical black person. And even if I could, I wouldn't be able to act like that anyway.

2. You worry that some of your sexual fantasies might be a little perverse. Do you repress these thoughts?
Um, no. It's a little too late for that. LOL!

3. You're a copilot on a passenger jet. There's an emergency and you must land immediately. The Capitan insists on time consuming procedures. Do you knock him out and take control?
Hell yeah, I'm not about to die like Aaliyah.

Which Spice Girl Are You?

Find out which Xena girl you are.

I don't even know why I woke up this morning. Christmas is the worst holliday ever. I only got two presents under the tree. Plus, they were already open. Everyone got more presents than me. Which if Santa Claus was real, they'd all get coal. Because all three of them have been naughty this year. I've just been sitting here pretending I don't exist. Well I knew sooner or later I'd get treated like this inside of my house as well as outside.

Well, I wanted to apologize for the other night. I don't think I'm going to ever surf the net under the influence of alcohol. I think I sent a hateful e-mail to Evy. I think I called her a bitch. I'm not sure. I wish I had a copy. Martina's back from London. She looks really pretty. She got dread locks. They were so soft.

Anyway. I think that a good friend of mine might like the same person I like which is sad because this person is already taken and we're going to end up hurt in the end. I don't even know why I still have feelings for this certian red-headed person. I need to get over him already! UGH!

Okay, so I've made two deposits in the bank and they haven't gone through yet. Realized that when I tried to buy my brother a christmas present. I gave him the watch for his birthday. Watch as all my money comes through AFTER Christmas. This is why I hate this holliday. Everyone is either too rushed or fucking lazy. That's it. Next year, there will be no Christmas. Only the After Christmas Sale at SEARS holliday. Tell me I'm lying! LMAO!

RYAN"S DRUNK. IU was at this party and ther was allcohol. My brother made me this drink with all this stuff in it. it was good. I put some coke in it and it tasted just like cherry coke. he had put snops in it. it was good. I drank a whole cup and anoter one and another one. Then I finished off his. I was forced to because it's his birthday today. bastared. I like it!

I did some SERIOUS mall crawling today. It's been almost a year since I've been there. I love the Disney Store. I bought this Dumbo plushie that's all white. he was a santa hat and a scarf. It's so cute. And I also bought Lilo and Stitch on DVD! ^_^

I bought christmas presents for my mom and my brother. I still need to buy one for my dad.

Pissed now. I got a letter from DVC saying I'm not eligible for my freshmen english class. Apparently, the class is for some program. Funny, it didn't say that on the course catalog. Whatever. Now I'm going to have a hole in my schedule. I hate that school already.

Like I said, I love the Disney Store. Anyone know if they're hiring?

The What Soda Are You Quiz By Vishal

Xanadu is the coolest movie! Everyone should see it! *_*

I'm so tired of that damn dog. She's been giving me nothing but trouble. I wish I could take her back. But that would be mean. I'm sticking to smaller animals. Like fish and even rodents. *shudder* Ok, just fish.

I went to the Kwanzaa thing tonight. It was nice. I got to see some of my teachers. I introduced my mom to my favorite ones.
Ashley was so cute. ^_^

We went to Hollywood Video and I rented a bunch of dvds. Sad, because I still haven't finished Felicity. Tuesday was the first time I ever saw broadcasted television. Yeah, it was Buffy.

So, I was worried about how bad my final paper was in World Mythology. Well it must have been good enough to raise my grade to a solid C! I got a C! I'm so happy. That's better than a D, you know. I just found out online. I do everything online now. You can register your classes and get your grades. Isn't the internet great? XD

I think in the summer semester, I'm going to take a class online. Just to see what it's like.

I swear to god, I will sleep with anybody who buys me this! *_*

So, Ashley has that Kwanzaa thing at school Wednesday. She wants me and my mom to go. But I don't think I can get the time off from work. Sinuhe was fired today. Because he's a total asshole. He got me to be my secret santa for the christmas party so he doesn't buy me anything and doesn't come to the party. Which is fine because Ashley got him and gave the gift to me. Then, he was supposed to work today and he calls John saying he doesn't have a ride to work. So John tells him to call somebody to take him. Then he calls again saying he doesn't have a uniform. So John tells him to come in anyway. THEN he calls a third time saying he's sick and he's throwing up. So as soon as Mario came in, he went into the office and fired the fucker. Now I only have Tommy to switch shifts with on Wednesday. Which I don't think he'll do that. Shit. Why does things have to be difficult?

Oh and seriously, I want that cd.

So I've decided to buy a new backpack before the semester starts. I'm just going to give my current one to my brother. Since green is his favorite color anyway.

I've been slowly deteirating. I'm not even half the person I was before. Now I'm upset all the time and I'm constantly crying. I've been taking everything people say seriously. I wear the same outfits all the time. I think people are starting to suspect something. It's hard to go shopping when your mom moves out and is never around. Sure, she was here today. But I never get a chance to spend time with her. Not since we've been in school. It's hard. It's hard to concentrate. I don't know what's wrong with me now. I really wish I could be motivated again. I'm sitting here now. I should be sleeping. I find myself being content more and more with settling for less. Which is one thing I hate more than anything. I don't know why I do it. But I always regret it. Maybe I need better sleep. And I really need to move out. I think the reason I'm unhappy is because this family makes me unhappy. I need to just go on my separate way and forget about them. I'm sure they'd want to do the same about me.

I'm so tired of all this drama. Shit.

Also known widely as the Fire Bird, the phoenix is a profound symbol of the circle of life. It has a life cycle of 500 to 600 ears and after that amount of time, it sets itself on fire and dies in the flames. Then after three days, it rises again from the ashes. It is a completely benign creature who lives in dew. It is said that the phoenix has a beautiful melidous song which grows ever more mournful as its life comes to an end. It is a symbol of the sun and immortality. The phoenix is a very worthwhile beast.

What mythical beast best represents you? Take the quiz!

I hate this computer so much. God, I wish I had money. Why are Macs so expensive? ;_;

I started playing Kingdom Hearts again. Played for ten minutes. Then I turned it off. Oh well. Maybe one day.

It was so cold today. So cold, I beged my dad for a fur coat. He didn't say anything. But he did go and get a drink of brandy afterwards.

Oh, I got my videos today. I got the Rainbow Brite movie, two Jem videos and the first season of Felicity. I haven't watched Felicity yet. I think I'll watch it now. ;-)

Goodnight.

I decided to post a separate topic for a rant. Death. I'm tired of it. And I don't mean death as in real death. I mean when death happens on your favorite television show, which will remain nameless. Why does one of my favorite characters have to die? WHY? She's been gone all this time and you want to bring her back to kill her? I hate you, Joss! I hate you so much! And what is this I hear about a certain person(name starts with a G) whose supposedly also dead? You can't do this to me. Buffy is supposed to end on a happy note, goddammit! I've been watching this show since I was thirteen. And the last few seasons have been nothing but death. Why don't you just kill them all, Joss? Just have a big giant bomb and blow up all of them? Just go ahead. I'm still pissed at you for making Cordy become all... self rightious. And for making her fuck Connor. NOT COOL. I also hear Xander and Anya are also completely over. Why can't anyone be fucking happy? You're a horrible man. Yeah, go back to your precious Firefly. That show fucking sucks.

Oh, and Glenn Quinn, the guy who played Doyle on Angel, is dead. He died on the 3rd. Supposidly it was due to a drug overdose. How sad. Rest in peace, my friend.

But still, Joss. NO MORE DYING! See you next Tuesday? Ok! ;-)

Damn. This computer is getting more and more SCREWY! I got something downloaded on this piece of shit and everytime I surf to an unavailible page, 50 browsers pop up. And don't even let me tell you what percentage of that is porn! I can't even use Internet Explorer anymore. I have to use Mozilla. Netscape to those who don't know. I'm so tired of this damn thing. I'm ready to buy my Mac, now. ;_;

I saw my little Ashley today at work. I really miss babysitting her and Alana. I love kids! XD
By the way, let me tell you how much I love Wesley. Everytime I see him, I have to control myself. Today he turned around to see me smelling him. I don't think he suspects anything. I try to cover up by teasing him. But I don't want to hurt his feelings. I felt really bad about teasing his red hair a few weeks ago. I like making collect calls.....really. Tis a shame he has a girlfriend. I mean, if you would have met him for the first time, you'd think he was gay. Hell, the new guy, Sinhue, thought he was gay. AND NOT ME! XD Oh well. I'm going to have to try and get over him. With him being promoted, I really think that would be a bad idea. But Nick and Liz make it work! God dammit! All I've been talking about are those two. "Oh Nick and Liz are the new Ross and Rachel!" I really need to shut up. Or get some. Probably both. Tomorrow, well, today is my last final exam. I'm going to celebrate by finally watching Treasure Planet. I've tried so hard not to go into the theatre so I don't get spoiled. And tomorrow is the last day we will have it.

By the way, Ryan is obbsessed with The Surpremes and anything else Diana Ross related. Maybe because he's a flamming homo? But anyway. Ryan loves Diana Ross. Remember that.

I'm thinking about hiring a RO body guard to protect me while I become a Thief. Anyone want to protect me?
Nick and Liz are like the perfect couple. I'm so jealous. I want a boyfriend like Nick. Uh-oh, I just pulled out another eye-lash. XD

And yes, I still have the bird shit on my lovely turtleneck. >.<

Well today couldn't get any worse, I'll tell you that. Well I turned in my paper for my Mythology class. And I asked for my grade. Apparently I have a D. Which is hard to understand since I did more assignments than other people in the class. But then again, I was never there. Well, If my parents ask what I got in the class, I'll tell them. And if they don't, they'll never know. My dad has already threatened to kick me out.

Then as I was walking to the bus stop, a fucking bird shit on me. Some dumb worm-eating bird took a shit on me. See that? If I didn't have allergies, I'd so kill that bird and use it's down feathers for my pillows. Fucking birds.

Oh and someone called on my dog today because she was howling. I left her outside. She doesn't like to go outside. So they left a note saying that she was loose and was hostile towards people. Anyone who knows my dog Megan would know that she's only hostile when someone is fucking with her. IE, my brother. She LOVES people. I think it was the drug dealing neighbors who called. I think I'll and report them. HEHEHE!!

I just took my first final exam. It was hard and I don't think I did very well. But I'm sure I'll be able to pass my Humanities class. I have my mythology class next. I wrote my paper last night. A comparison of Dido and Medea. I think I did pretty well on it. But I'll have to wait until the grades come out. Today has been long and lonely. I got on the bus this morning and then Kim got on it. Me and Kimmy were talking on the bus and it appears that Kim's sister Heather is working at Children's Hospital. She's going to be a nurse. That's so cool. She said that we should get together sometime. It would be nice to go out again. >.<

Oh and the computers in this computer lab at DVC suck. But I always knew that. I don't know why I'm still using them. I'd buy my Mac if I wasn't so addicted to Ragnarok Online. ;_;

Yeah. Ryan's still on his fur fixation. I saw the cutest mink coat. It was black. But they wanted

$4,000!!

Why are they so expensive? It's a coat made out of dead rodents. Minks are evil little creatures. Why should they be worth so much? Why can't Ryan get his fur coat?

In other news. I just registred my classes for next semester. Finnally. I did it online. Pretty painless. So here's my sched as follows.

All of them are on Tuesday & Thursday
9:30 - 10:45 Intermediate Drama
11 - 12:15 Freshman English
12:30 - 1:45 Astronomy
2:30 - 4:50 Algebra

While I was paying for my classes, I decided to look at my account summary at Wells Fargo. That order I made with Amazon.com a few days ago went through as "pending" last week. So I looked at it today and it doesn't say anything. The order has disappeared. It's funny because I didn't even recieve an invoice for my order. So I go to the amazon site and it says that I paid and they are shipping the order to me. That's so weird. I think amazon messed up. Either them or my bank account. But it was nice to log on to see my balance increased by $80. ^_^

And now, the worst possible news. We had to redraw our people to be secret santas to. This time, I got.... TOM! Yes, out of all the people who work there, I got the one guy who I don't even know what to get for. And I know, if I get him something bad, he'll make me regret it for how ever long I'm still working there. ;_;
The first person I got was Nick A. Which is relatively easy since I've known him for a long time and his girlfriend happens to be Liz. But shit, Tom? Why don't they just fire me already?

My eyes are burning. This is the price you must pay when you wear contacts. I'm so glad I finally got them back. The day after I got them, my glasses broke.
Today was the last class day. And I have to go back Tuesday for my final in Humanities and World Religions. I have a writen final in Drama the following Thursday. So I'm pretty excited to get this semeseter over with. Right now, I should be choosing my classes to register tomorrow. But I'm sitting here blogging and watching my music videos. Yup, I'm watching Ayu right now, before that was Hikki, and then there was Kylie. I've got some BoA being downloaded right now as well. RTV is what I'm calling it. ^_^

My mom is over. She's doing laundry so she can pack and go to LA tomorrow. I don't think I mentioned it before, but her cousin died. So she has to go to the funeral. I wish I could go but I'm trapped here at work. Because I'm the only one who can work Friday mornings other than Tommy. And well, they don't like Tommy.

Just a note. The coat Ayu is wearing at the end of her video for Dearest is very pretty. I want a fur coat. But living here in crazy ass California, they won't let me. Because I would "kill so many animals." Fucking activists. If I want to keep my ass warm by buying an expensive coat made of dead animal caracases, then I will. It's not like human beings haven't done it before.

This just in. I know none of you guys care but Ayu's new album will be titled "Rainbow."
I can't wait to get it! *_*

Oh, and Ryan's going to bed.

I've been taking a break from doing chores to tell you all about my little adventure with my friend Jenny yesterday. So, on Tuesday, me and Jenny are coming from our drama class. It was our test and she did pretty well, but I didn't do a very good job. I walk like a girl. ;_;
But anyway, we were walking by and there's this dude handing out things. So we purposely walk by and he hands us business cards. They say that they are looking for employees to get paid $17.25 an hour, that's right, $17.25 an hour. So of course me and Jenny sign up. So, the guy who talks to us was REALLY cute. He was like, I dunno, hot? I just can't describe how cute this guy was. So he tells us to come in to their office down the street and have a "group interview." So we're like, sure. We go to our last class and meet back up and head to the office. It's only a few blocks away.
So when we get to the building, the security guard opens the door. I swear to god, this fool looked just like the one Martin Lawrence played on his show, Martin. But we went upstairs and walked into the office. And who was to greet us but only the most beautiful guy on the planet. Tall, blonde, green eyes, very muscular. The creature called himself Evan and shook our hands. Let me tell you how big his hands were. There's nothing more sexy than a guy with big hands. I don't know why. But he was super hot. Anyway, we were forced to fill out new applications and wait until he screened us all. So he screened Jenny first, she got in. Then it was me. I got in. The screenig process was weird. All he did was go over my application and tell me that I needed a car to work there. I was like, "Why? This building is only a few blocks away from school?" But I just told him that I was getting a car because I knew I wasn't going to stay there. So he says that I was chosen to be in the group interview and to come back in half an hour. All I could do was stare at his biceps. So me and Jenny head back into the hallway and then she gets the suppision to investigate what the hell this company was all about. So we went back to our pal, Martin and he sang like a canary. Apparently, in order to get paid $17.25 an hour we had to sell flatware. Well we knew that part but the part we didn't know is that we had to buy our own product and sell it for profit. How lame was that? If I wanted a job like that, I'd sell Avon, Mary Kay, or Tupperware. So me and Jenny swallowed our pride and left. But not before saying goodbye to Evan. Oh baby, he was fine.

I got my secret santa for work today. It's strange. I've known this person for so long, yet I don't know this person at all. It's hard to find a gift for this person with only a $15 limit. I dont' know what to do.

Have you ever fantasized about an imaginary person only to have him show up at work a few days later? Well I have. And it was freaky as hell. So I'm going to bed Friday night. Or was it Thursday? I don't remember. But I'm dreaming about this really cute guy that I've never met before. He was tall, blonde hair, blue eyes. You know, Uber-HOT! So I'm thinking how great it would be if this guy was real. So lo and behold, I show up at work today and guess who pops up? DREAM GUY! That's right with equally as beautiful girlfriend in arms. I was so upset. Because in my dream, he was with me. But as I was helping them, I realized that his girlfriend was REALLY nice. So nice that I would willingly give him up to her if I had to. She was so nice and polite, that I wanted to give her a hug. Yeah, that manipulative bitch. I hate her! >.<

I'm so hungry. I want something to eat. But I refuse to eat Thanksgiving leftovers. I REFUSE TO EAT THAT DRY ASS TURKEY! And there's only dark meat left, anyway.

I'm sorry for the lack of updates. I just can't seem to motivate myself to post anything. Maybe because I'm all out of material. I've done bitched and moaned about everything. And even bitched and moaned some more. And today being a lazy Sunday, I just don't know what to do.
I finally watched Beauty and the Beast today. Yeah, I baught the movie weeks ago. It's been in my room collecting dust. I looked at all the special features already, so I'm kinda through with it. The special edition is really nice and my brother and I enjoyed it. They're releasing a special edition Sleeping Beauty as well. I'm a buy it! }:->
Oh yes, Ryan has had enough of Thanksgiving leftovers. Oh, yeah. Tonight will be the last turkey sandwich I will ever eat.

Delightful. My lame older brother is coming up to visit for my younger brother's birthday. Neato. Let's see, on my birthday, you were so lonely you dragged my brother and my dad to see your sorry ass and left me with my annoying mother. Thank you, you son of a bitch! >.<

*composes himself*

Well, let me tell you. If Joss Whedon aired the Buffy pilot, I would have never wanted to watch that show. I downloaded the pilot episode today. It was all degrees of lame. Except for Cordelia! ^_^ First off, Sarah Michelle's hair was BROWN! Nicky's hair was just.... scary. And Allysen was no where to be found. She was eaten by this fa- um, slightly overweight young lady in a mini skirt. Giles was still the same. And the script was still the same except for some differences. Angel wasn't there! In fact, the whole episode was mostly during the daytime. The library was so big, I loved it. And the way the vamps dusted was lame. Anyone can buy baby powder. What I really hated was, Darla was all.... normal. Like she was freshly sired. And not the mother of the grusome foursome(what I call her, Angel, Spike, and Dru) And Willow killed her! With a cross!! Stupid Willow. She didn't even have to fight any vampires. If a vamp ever saw her it would be eat or be eaten. And you didn't see the inside of the Bronze. And the fight scene at the end was at the school aditorium. LAME!

....Yeah, I need a new hobby.

Chrysalis

12.28.2002

12.25.2002

12.24.2002

12.22.2002

12.20.2002

12.19.2002

12.18.2002

12.17.2002

12.14.2002

12.13.2002

12.12.2002

12.10.2002

12.08.2002

$4,000!!

12.06.2002

12.05.2002

12.02.2002

12.01.2002

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